I always wonder why do women think it’s a competition for a better mom?? Is it because of the historical best mom contest? Or is it just pure female competitiveness?
Whatever it is, we as mothers have a serious impact on the world, and that’s what we should be focusing on! For the future will depend on generations we are raising today.
Some women have to work for family support, while others work to make a difference in one or more of the needed fields. On the other hand, a stay at home mom, doesn’t mean that her only job is to cook and clean the house, it means that she is choosing to make a difference in a different way at home.
There are working moms who know exactly how to make a life-work balance and give their families all the love and nurturing they need. So we need to stop presuming that a successful woman has a lag at home. And there are stay at home moms that plan their life to be always beneficial to their family and to their community. So, we need to stop presuming that the stay at home mom is only for keeping the kids fed and the house clean.
There are working moms who absolutely forget that they have a family and who surrender their kids to the maids. There are also stay at home moms who forget why they are staying at home and neglect all their family needs and also give up their kids to the maids.
The thing is that instead of comparing and contrasting and trying continuously and persistently to prove who the better woman is; we should be collectively working on our better selves and making the world a better place together and for each other.
So look for the moms around you and start the inspirational cycle, for if moms prosper, the world wins!!
Here are 8 tips for happification of the Mom:
1. Stop whining about being tired or the shortage of time; this will not make you feel any better, on the contrary it will simply drag you into the cycle of negativity, which I call the “Amina Rizk Syndrome” (an Egyptian actress who did a lot of self sacrificing mom roles) or, the tired self-sacrificing mom syndrome. If you’re tired, make sure to get enough sleep and eat healthy.
2. Revise your priorities; don’t let society pressure you into what’s important. You decide if going to the spa is your recharging priority or taking a class will make you a better you.
3. Ask fellow moms for support; babysit for each other to go to the movies with your spouses or make supermarket trips for one another.
4. Allow outside help; as well as partner sharing of errands, chores and activities. You don’t have to do it all yourself to be a good mom.
5. Remind yourself why you are working? Or why you’re staying at home. If you are convinced with your choice, you will definitely make a difference either way.
6. Make a connection with a mothers group for support or start a mothers group yourself. Choosing to be supportive, helpful and kind to others will also reflect back on you and your family. You are a model for your children and what you do will affect their well being, and their character.
7. Remember to regularly connect with your partner as a person and not only as a father. That’s why I don’t advise couples to call each other mom and dad.
8. Enjoy your kids, enjoy your family and enjoy your life. And by the way, that will need some conscious effort and maybe some guidance or coaching.
All moms are important, all moms are making a difference and are impacting the world one child at a time.
By Dr. Mona Youssri
Child psychiatrist, Family Counselor & CLC Founder